Welcome to my Head

This is what it's like inside My Head.

moraniarty:

you’re walking in the woods

there is no one around

and your phone is dead

out of the corner of your eye you spot him

                                                                                                    shia labeouf

(Source: anti-social-cave, via bucky-barnes-booty)

It’s Monday. I’m going home at 6pm and a middle aged man and a teenage boy are the only people left on the bus with me. I consider the fact that because the driver is also a man I am the only person left on the bus with the correct genetic makeup for boobs. I’m automatically scared, scared because of my own anatomy. I wonder how old I was when I realized that my own body was going to be the cause of the constant anxiety and fear I feel in situations like this. I get off at the last stop and the older man smiles at me while following me up the street. His smile drips, drips, drips and my heart is pounding, pounding, pounding. He turns off down another road, but I run the rest of the way home.

Not all men.

I’m at home on a Tuesday, beginning to plan the travels I want to go on next year. I dream of wandering the streets and meeting strangers. I just can’t wait to escape the city I’ve lived in for 17 long years. But… my mum is hesitant. She’s forever worried about the danger that being a young girl traveling alone can bring. I’ll be alone and she’s scared. Surely I’m invincible. I feel invincible. But I know, I know this danger is real and I can’t help but think to myself, if I feel unsafe in my own city, how am i going to feel in a strange place with strange men who don’t speak the same language as me? If I was my brother planning this, I would probably just be wondering if European girls are going to be hot.

Not all men.

Wednesday is a beautiful sunny day but I’ve always been told that I don’t have a “nice enough body” to wear a bikini on the beach. Ever since I was 6 years old I’ve thought that having tummy fat was ugly. That skin that doesn’t have a perfectly golden glow is undesirable. I amble to a clear patch of sand in my one piece and I can feel pairs of eyes latching onto me. Hairy men in speedos who I don’t look twice at eat into my body with their stares. I’m a piece of meat. I am a piece of meat? I am here for their amusement. Please don’t let me be eaten alive.

Not all men.

Thursday night two friends and I are walking to our god damn school dance when we hear “Jesus look at you! You sluts heading to a pole?” These words snarl out of the mouth of a respectably dressed man and we stop in horror. Shivers roll up my back in fear. It’s dark. We are alone. What. Do. We. Do??? One of us pulls the finger back. I can never be sure how quickly a sexist man can get angry so we walk quickly away. We’re angry, so so angry. But also so… deflated. I wonder if we deserve this shame.

Not all men.

Sitting on the internet, Friday night and scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed:

“Haha, good job at the game today bro. You RAPED them!”
“Damn with tits like that, you’re asking for it :P”

Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…

I’m shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and I want to CRY because these boys don’t realize how small they make me feel with just pressing a few keys. I see these boys on the streets, I talk to these boys, I laugh with these boys. Dear GOD, dear GOD i hope these boys don’t think actions speak louder than words…

Not all men.

Three rules that have been drilled into me since I was young run through my mind at 1.30am on a Satur… Sunday Morning:

-Don’t ever talk to strange men
-Don’t ever be alone at night in a strange place
-Don’t ever get into a car with a stranger

I break all 3 of these laws as I pull open the taxi door. Making light conversation with the driver, he doesn’t see my sweaty hand clutching the small pocket knife I keep hidden on me at all times. He doesn’t even realize the fear I feel at his mere presence. He cannot comprehend it, he never will. How easy would this 15 minute car ride be if I was born a boy?

Not all men.

It comes to Sunday, another snoozy, sleepy, Sunday and someone has the AUDACITY to tell me not all men are rapists. I say nothing.

I’m a 17 year old girl.
When I am walking alone and it’s dark, it’s all men.
When I am in a car with a man I don’t know well, it’s all men.
When men drunkenly leer at me on the streets, it’s all men.
When a boy won’t leave me alone at a party, it’s all men.

Not all men are rapists. But for a young girl like me? Every one of them has the potential to be.

Not.
All.
Men.

—(via nonjazzscatcat)

(Source: trueho, via fenrir-kin)

thescienceofjohnlock:

physics-and-fiction:

superwholockalypse:

dreamingofdoctorwho:

colorsofsocialjustice:

colorsofsocialjustice:

contra-indication:

spondylitis:

The nerve!….This goes out to all the spoonies.
Read this:
“My name is Emelie Crecco, I’m 20 years old and I have cystic fibrosis. CF affects the lungs (as of many organs in the body) because of this I have a handicapped sticker. I’m not one to “abuse” the sticker, meaning I use it when I’m having a “bad day” (some days its a little harder to breathe). Today was HOT so I needed to use my sticker. I was running errands all day around my town, I pulled into a handicapped spot, placed the sticker in my mirror and continued into the store. Upon returning to my car I found a note written by someone, it said “Shame on you, you are NOT handicapped. You have taken a space that could have been used by an actually handicapped person. You are a selfish young lady.” I was LIVID. How can someone be so ignorant and cowardly? They clearly saw me walk out of my car, why not approach me? Not all handicaps are visible. I would love for you to share this story. It would help spread awareness for CF, but it would help open people’s minds to what handicapped really is.  Thank you for your time” ~Emelie Crecco

A friend of mine fell over 20 feet and basically broke half his ribs, punctured his lung, broke his arm in three places that required many surgeries to fix and messed up a nerve in his leg. He had to walk with a cane for a long time after it and some lady in a restaurant thought he was just walking with a cane for the hell of it and she ripped it from his hands and grabbed his messed up arm and shook him and told him he was an awful human being for pretending to be handicapped. What the fuck people?

This is what real ableism looks like.

I have ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune disorder which causes my body to attack my colon, and I qualify for one of those stickers. I’m scared to get one, though, because I look healthy and whole.-Orange

A mutual friend of mine’s mother has severe fibromyalgia (that gives her a handicapped pass) and as she was walking to her car after buying her groceries, a man actually lunged at her and started yelling at her about her “not looking handicapped”. It left her mother shaking and crying, of course, and it just makes me so angry how awful and ignorant some people can be. 

Not all handicaps are visible
Can I just pin this sentence on every lamppost all over the planet please

I get this all the time with my knee problems if i’m not wearing my supports

Re-blogging because a similar thing happened to me. I have MS and most of the time LOOK completely healthy even if I’m struggling. One day collecting my kids from school I parked on the opposite side of the road to a double driveway. It was safest place I could park without obstructing anyone and without having to walk too far. I put my disabled badge in the window and when I got out this woman came out from the house with the double driveway and started to have a go at me. “I’m fed up with you lazy mothers blocking my driveway.” I repeat I was not blocking her driveway. I pointed this out and that I have a badge. She didn’t care she wanted me to move my car. I told her that the only place I could move it to was too far for me to walk without discomfort. She didn’t care.
At this point another mother who knew me ran up and calmly told the woman that if she really wanted me to move my car perhaps she could take my MS as well. :)

thescienceofjohnlock:

physics-and-fiction:

superwholockalypse:

dreamingofdoctorwho:

colorsofsocialjustice:

colorsofsocialjustice:

contra-indication:

spondylitis:

The nerve!….This goes out to all the spoonies.

Read this:

My name is Emelie Crecco, I’m 20 years old and I have cystic fibrosis. CF affects the lungs (as of many organs in the body) because of this I have a handicapped sticker. I’m not one to “abuse” the sticker, meaning I use it when I’m having a “bad day” (some days its a little harder to breathe). Today was HOT so I needed to use my sticker. I was running errands all day around my town, I pulled into a handicapped spot, placed the sticker in my mirror and continued into the store. Upon returning to my car I found a note written by someone, it said “Shame on you, you are NOT handicapped. You have taken a space that could have been used by an actually handicapped person. You are a selfish young lady.” I was LIVID. How can someone be so ignorant and cowardly? They clearly saw me walk out of my car, why not approach me? Not all handicaps are visible. I would love for you to share this story. It would help spread awareness for CF, but it would help open people’s minds to what handicapped really is.
Thank you for your time”
~Emelie Crecco

A friend of mine fell over 20 feet and basically broke half his ribs, punctured his lung, broke his arm in three places that required many surgeries to fix and messed up a nerve in his leg. He had to walk with a cane for a long time after it and some lady in a restaurant thought he was just walking with a cane for the hell of it and she ripped it from his hands and grabbed his messed up arm and shook him and told him he was an awful human being for pretending to be handicapped. What the fuck people?


This is what real ableism looks like.

I have ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune disorder which causes my body to attack my colon, and I qualify for one of those stickers. I’m scared to get one, though, because I look healthy and whole.
-Orange

A mutual friend of mine’s mother has severe fibromyalgia (that gives her a handicapped pass) and as she was walking to her car after buying her groceries, a man actually lunged at her and started yelling at her about her “not looking handicapped”. It left her mother shaking and crying, of course, and it just makes me so angry how awful and ignorant some people can be. 

Not all handicaps are visible

Can I just pin this sentence on every lamppost all over the planet please

I get this all the time with my knee problems if i’m not wearing my supports

Re-blogging because a similar thing happened to me. I have MS and most of the time LOOK completely healthy even if I’m struggling. One day collecting my kids from school I parked on the opposite side of the road to a double driveway. It was safest place I could park without obstructing anyone and without having to walk too far. I put my disabled badge in the window and when I got out this woman came out from the house with the double driveway and started to have a go at me. “I’m fed up with you lazy mothers blocking my driveway.” I repeat I was not blocking her driveway. I pointed this out and that I have a badge. She didn’t care she wanted me to move my car. I told her that the only place I could move it to was too far for me to walk without discomfort. She didn’t care.

At this point another mother who knew me ran up and calmly told the woman that if she really wanted me to move my car perhaps she could take my MS as well. :)

(via muonna)

my-tardis-sense-is-tingling:

These tweets (and one retweet) are from my friend Ryan, a journalist who has been on the ground in Ferguson for the past few days. (His Twitter account is here, and it’s a great source of updates on the situation there   [x]).

I just wanted to remind everybody that while spreading word about Michael Brown’s unjust murder and the horrifying events of the night of August 14, 2014, please do not oversimplify or ignore the complexities of the situation.

Some journalists in the town have been doing what journalists do: focusing on all the negative aspects about the community to try and make it look like a hell-hole in order to sell their own pictures and stories, and basically all many of them want to do is further their own careers. But focusing on all that negativity only paints the picture of one side of the story, ignoring a lot of other important things going on there.

Please do not fall prey to the media’s game. Anger at the actions of the police in Ferguson is totally justified, but in the midst of that we cannot allow the people who are living with the situation every day to be dehumanized. Despite all this tragedy and chaos going on around them, they’re still a community and in many ways they’re pulling through all of it together. They want peace. Anyone looting or burning things down is a very small portion of the community. The whole story is so much bigger.

A story doesn’t need tear gas to be interesting. We need to hear every side of this story, not just the horrific parts.

TL:DR: please don’t fall prey to media attempts to dehumanize and oversimplify the situation in ferguson!!

(via fenrir-kin)

jackviolet:

The cop who shot a dog in front of its 6 year old owner was fired after outrage from the community and a “Justice for Apollo” campaign.

The cop who shot an unarmed black teen is on paid leave and remains protected by his department. So far, days of outrage and protest have still not brought any justice to Mike Brown.

In America, in 2014, the life of a black man is valued less than that of a dog.

Literally.

(via thesoundofyourheartinyourhead)